B Rad of the W

So 45 sperm whales just died over by Tasmania. Now I claim to be no marine biologist but were these the dim witted ones or what is the deal? How the hell do 45 huge whales all just go “Hey Timmy I think I just grew legs.”, “No shit Hank!” “Lets all go climb up on that sand bar and see how far we can walk.”

I just don’t get it?

Now I am sure the sand bar had water over it when they swam over but if the water was that shallow how did even the stupidest of animals think that was a good idea. It was not only one dumb whale it was forty five! That is more fingers and toes than I have so I could not really count up that high but I know it was a lot because I can get all the way to eighteen with my fingers and toes and I still had a lot of counting left.

Of course a rescue effort was attempted. They failed to save a single one. No big shock here I guess. Sperm whales a freaking big and heavy. The biggest one in this group was 60 feet according to the linked story. The story also said the corpses of the whales would just be left to rot. Well no shit I guess! If they could not move them when they were alive I guess moving them dead would be just as hard but smell worse!

I guess my take on the whole thing is good riddance. Whales are endangered right? So if all the dumb ones get killed only the smart ones will be left to breed. This is good for the population as a whole. This is also why I have planted land mines around my whole property. I figure with all the deer that get hit every year on the roads the ones left have to be super smart by now. I expect them to break into my house sodomize my dogs and steal all the beer any day. So maybe they are getting smarter and smarter each year but I bet it will be a while before they figure out my land mines!

Now I know you think I am crazy. You would not be the first. You are however dead wrong! I have proof the deer are getting smarter. Remember back when you would just grab a gun and go out and shoot a deer? Well this fall you better keep the beer in the cooler so you have your wits about you. The deer are pissed! They are no longer scared of you and are fighting back.

Oh wait I got lost? I was talking about whales… then I wanted to tell you how great my deer defences were. Now I just made you watch a video of a badly dressed piss eating wanker getting trashed by a deer? Who was I saying was dim witted? Whales? Deer? Rednecks wearing deer piss after shave? I guess I am going to have to go with (D) all of the above.

This is a pretty cool video. I always knew crows were not dumb animals but I never would have guessed that you could teach them anything or that they could remember anything! In this video however they clearly show how crows adapt and learn.

I am now going to use this video as the basis for my plans on world domination!! Soon me and my legions of crows will rule the world… (evil laugh here).

I am not making this shit up! The White House clearly says we should kill vampires. If you doubt my sanity you can take a read yourself at www.whitehouse.gov. Yes this is the real government site. It is a short article Timmy so your head will not explode.

These are some of my favorite parts:
“Vampires can be found in almost every household…” We are screwed! Not only is gas putting a choke hold on your fun but we have vampires in every home! I thought they just lived is castles?

“Vampires make sure that the appliance is “instantly” functioning when you want to use it;…” Well at least they are earning their keep. I would be pissed if they were just using me and offering nothing in return!

“Vampire slayers often cost as little as 50 cents…” Well no shit! How much can a wooden stake cost anyway?

“The President will challenge American businesses, both in their manufacturing decisions and in their purchasing decisions, to look to the vampire slayer…” I have got to get with Buffy and get some job training. This could be a whole new field like “computer technician” from DeVry.

This cow is freaking giant! Six feet six inches tall. That is a big ass bovine Timmy. They claim it is a gentle giant but then go on to say… “Despite his grand stature, Chilli only grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat“. They must not have much regard for the Swedes?

It is very good to know your limitations. You can always push those limits but it is still good to know where they are. With that said not every sport is for every person. Yes a midget can play basketball but they really will not ever play at the top of their game… no pun intended. Likewise a 800 pound man is not going to do well at gymnastics. It is just the laws of nature and you can not fight those.

To those that feel slighted I suggest bowling. It is a sport that has the largest sweet spot for successful competition. The only real limitation is that you are color blind and like the feel of man made fibers. Horse shoes may also be of interest.

To illustrate my point I bring you a girl who should really know better. Tennis is not for her. All that running and bouncing is going to damage her… quickly!

It seems I have been posting a LOT of video lately. I just want to make it clear that this is NOT a video only blog. I just seem to have a lot of video recently. This may be out of laziness or just because I have been watching a lot of internet video late into the night recently… who knows? If it was a video only blog then I would only post video. If you have been here before you will note more than just video even though there seems to be a lot of video in recent posts. I like to post all sorts of pointless mind numbing and often humorous things. Oh I like to bitch as well and this allows me a place to do that. I have a lot more I would like to bitch about but I don’t. Things like work and the color of my skid marks would only get me in trouble if I shared. If this was a video blog I might also change the name to something like “B Rad of the W & moving pictures” or “moving pictures blog”. But alas this is just a boring no strong point or theme type blog. Mostly it is just for my own personal entertainment. One day I did have 40 some people visit my pointless little blog but most days only like 12 visit. To those 12 people, or 2 people who visit often thanks for your support. To these 2 or perhaps 12 people but sometimes as many as 40 people I just want to point out that this is NOT a video blog. I don’t want to be YouTube and I don’t want you to come to me for your evening brain mushing. With that I bring you something that is not a video. Hell it will actually expand your mind and test your mental powers. Work the gray matter as they say.

So click this link and gander at the two photos shown. Find all three of the differences in the two photos and you are my hero. It has a time limit before the image changes so concentrate and be quick. Once done please bring your work to the front of the class. Don’t forget to put your name at the top this time Timmy!

Sorry… did I ramble ?

I was sitting in a meeting today staring at the conference phone attempting to remain conscious and a question bubbled to the surface.

If you use one of these phones to call up for some phone sex do they bill you extra because it is group sex?

The meetings I am in are rather untaxing and do not really keep the mind from pondering such things.