Archive for September, 2007

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Cutwater has a great web site

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

Not only does Cutwater have some really original and entertaining navigation on their web site they also do some really good design work. As you move the cursor around their main navigation page it looks like you are dragging a finger through water. Once you click on something the water drains away and the content of the page you clicked on appears. In the background the last bits of water soak away. When you want to get back to the main page the window quickly fills with water again.

Besides a pretty unique web site the also have some really great work on display that they have done for Jeep, Ray-Ban, Persol and Motorola to mention a few.

Posted in Design >Good | No Comments »

I didn’t know sexual predators hung out at ski lifts

Friday, September 28th, 2007

Ski Lift abuseI did not know sexual predators hung out at ski lifts, much less that the ones there are giants! After a third look I think I am able to figure out what is really being banned here. However the fact remains that this is a terribly designed sign regardless of the country.

Watch out for the giant anal assault is still the first message this imagery tells me. Who approves signs like this?

Posted in Design >Bad | No Comments »

How to piss off a graphic designer

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

anger faceThere are tons of these lists so mine is in no way unique but I want to make one anyway.

1 ) Hide the crayons.
2 ) Ask them to keep a work log.
3 ) Stand behind them and give direction.
4 ) Touch their computer screen.
5 ) Make them use computers more than 3 years old.
6 ) Make them wait “awhile” to purchase the newest software versions.
7 ) Ask for a JPEG to be sent to a print publication.
8 ) Call Macs toys.
9 ) Pretend to know something about design.
10 ) Ask for anything at 4:45.
11 ) Tell them work starts at 8:00 not 8:02
12 ) Ask them for a Word document.
13 ) Tell them they need to work on a PC.
14 ) Ask them what Apples are good for anyway.
15 ) Put them in a cube farm.
16 ) Let the pop machine run out of Mt. Dew
17 ) Suggest that Microsoft Publisher or Pagemaker should be used to layout a project.

Posted in Educating the corrupt, Entertaining myself | No Comments »

My blog blew up

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

My blog blew up and I don’t know why.

Parts are blasted everywhere. I am not sure what went wrong yet but I would imagine this will take me some time to figure out. I am not a programmer so this may kill me… please wish me well.

Hopefully this will be fixed in a few days. Sorry for the mess.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

What the hell is wrong with grapes

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Ok this just freaks me the hell out. Grapes should be able to create plasma much less offer the possibility of burning your house down or killing you with toxic gas. I hope there is some trickery going on here otherwise I may never be able to eat a grape again. Till someone reports back to me I am sticking with apples.

Hey you… You there… Yah you…. yes the stupid looking one. Watch this video then go home and try this and let me know what happens would you. Make sure to get back to your computer and let me know how it went before the flames engulf your house or the toxic fumes melt your brain.

Posted in Educating the corrupt | No Comments »

Lower back tattoos, sexy at 20 not so much at 60

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I never occurred to me until I watched the video posted below… “Ass Antlers” on a 60 year old hind end may not turn me on. They may actually make me run away at high speeds. I found the video posted below here. They have a fine selection of tattoos that people will regret once they get sober. My favorite is the guys butt cheeks tattooed with nipples so they look like boobs. What the hell was this guy thinking!

Think about it (dreamy wavy music here).

40 years from now you plop your walker another three inches closer to the dinning room at Whispering Willows the adult care center your kids were kind enough to find for you.

Jenny or Ashley bends over to pick up her false teeth that fell from her face when her dementia momentary made her think she was offering Zack fellatio at a rainbow party in sixth grade.

Just as her back creaks and moans, giving the signal that her spine has reached the end of it’s movement potential, her shirt becomes untucked and pops up just a little.

There just above her adult diaper, now slightly exposed as her wide ass pulls down her “stretchy pants”, is her glorious ass antlers.

The barb wire wrapped around the tribal symbol is a dull green tint, pockmarked, mole covered and sprinkled with liver spots.

SEXY!!

Posted in Entertaining myself | No Comments »

Your mind is a dirty place

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

Trick EyeYour mind likes to play tricks on you… Make you see things that are not there. Clouds are a great place to let the mind wander, imagine and create. Dark shadows in the middle of the night off the path and just over there by the bushes is another great place to let the mind wander.

When advertisers make your mind wander astray they use the age old fact “sex sells”. If the picture posted here made you see anything other than an eye you are just the person they are looking for! For more distractions of the mind and some great advertising check out this collection.

Posted in Design >Good | No Comments »

Look ma no crayons

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Well I found a new web site today, sketchcast.com. I think it is pretty interesting. However like YouTube for every one thing worth looking at there are one-hundred things that make your eyes bleed and your mind turn to jello. This site lets you draw stuff and then post in to your blog or what have you. In theory it sounds like it might have some uses but time will tell I guess.

For your entertainment and delight I used the vast drawing skills at my disposal and came up with this little gem!

Posted in Educating the corrupt, Entertaining myself | No Comments »

Monkeys monkey what monkeys will monkey

Sunday, September 23rd, 2007

We’re all monkeys! I just like this video because they say monkey a lot. Oh and the reference to “Monkey Hive” makes me chuckle like a toothless redneck watching NASCAR during a fiery wreck. I hate cities and I really do think they are filled with monkeys, very angry monkeys.

Posted in Oh looky what I found | 1 Comment »

Drunk animals are funny

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007

I have heard the stories from the farmers in my family about the chickens and various farm animals getting drunk off the juice that leaks out of a silo full of fresh silage. Turns out it is a mighty potent liquor. I laugh and giggle when I think about drunk chickens stumbling about. I wish my yard penis was full of silage so I could have drunk animals stumbling about. You can bet your sweet booty I would record those daffy bastards and share it with you. But alas my huge phallic symbol stands empty with no intoxicating juice oozing from it, just a little pigeon shit dribbled here and there. So I instead give you this… drunk African animals!

glumbert - People aren’t the only ones who get drunk. It seems these African animals do as well

Posted in Oh looky what I found | No Comments »

Word for the day “Luddite”

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Sexy SmurfetteI done learned me a new word today Betty, Luddite. It is not very exciting. It turns out it is just people that shun technology, you know like Smurfs. To think this whole time I just called people that shunned modern technology Amish, Mennonite or Hutterites (ref 2). Turns out Luddites started in early 1800 because people were against weaving looms. Seems any dill rod could now weave and people did not like that. You know the way calculators made it so any ass sniffer could do dirty calculator jokes.

Here is a Smurf calculator joke because I am sure Smurfs are Luddites. I never saw one with a car or a lightbulb.

If there are 500 smurfs (press 5 0 0) and 1 smurfette (press 1).
5001
and each smurf gets smurfy with smurfette 7 times (multiple by 7).
5001
x 7
What is she when they are all done (press =)?
35007
Turn your calculator upside down.

Posted in Educating the corrupt | No Comments »

Congress criminals

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

CriminalsThe United States Congress has 535 members. I am sure there are some good ones in there, somewhere? Below are some fun statistics on the seemingly larger number of bad ones. Kinda makes you want to wave a flag and sing loud and strong that you are proud to be an American. The source for this info is Fleecing of America, who knows where they got the info?

- 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
- 7 have been arrested for fraud
- 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
- 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
- 3 have done time for assault
- 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
- 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
- 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
- 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Posted in General Bitching | No Comments »

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