I can not decide if this video is a spoof or real? Either way this is funny shit. Only ten years ago but in internet years that is decades! Internet years move quicker than dog years. The best part is when the dude says “And it only took ten minutes” when he went to get the weather for TX. Of course the part where he says “Although no one can make money on the internet…” is also quite funny.
Archive for May, 2008
Master the internet 1997 style
Thursday, May 29th, 2008Crows is smart
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008This is a pretty cool video. I always knew crows were not dumb animals but I never would have guessed that you could teach them anything or that they could remember anything! In this video however they clearly show how crows adapt and learn.
I am now going to use this video as the basis for my plans on world domination!! Soon me and my legions of crows will rule the world… (evil laugh here).
I am jealous of beard man
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
This dude is my me idol! He grows a beard every winter and then carves it up to archive various beard types. How cool it that? I really like my goatee but I will never be able to archive such variation. Lets just say I only shave twice a week!!
I do have a good patch though (see image below). I am not complaining by any means. It has taken me a long while to achieve this little victory and I am glad I never get the 5 o’clock shadow! Shaving twice a week is fine by me.
Great time wasting game - for FREE!
Friday, May 23rd, 2008
Canyon Defense is a great little game I found (I think on Digg). It is just a simple flash game but I find it very addicting. I like the build a force take over the world sort of games. Canyon Defense is not exactly that type of game but you do use strategy to earn money that you then use to buy buildings and weapons to better defend the canyon.
The story line is pretty simple… You need to defend your town from the enemies coming in through the canyon. Maybe they want to steal your peanut butter or something? As you destroy the bad guys you earn money to buy weapons. As the game goes along better weapons become available as you complete tasks, like build 5 goo guns, build 10 walls etc etc. Some weapons can only be built on top of the canyon others can go anywhere. Some weapons work in the air others work on the ground. It is very easy to get the hang of and a great way to loose 20 minutes of your life. It beats picking your nose and wiping it on the bottom of your desk for sure!
There are three maps you can play and three levels of difficulty. The game also tracks the high scores for the day, the month and the week. Some of these scores seem way off. I only played a dozen times or so but I really fail to see how you can get 6,949,502 points. I got around 95,000 and felt like that was a decent score.
Anyway this is a great game and you should check it out. The best part is, it is free! The site I played on, miniclip.com seems to have a lot of cool little games. To be honest I was not able to get away from Canyon Defense.
 Canyon Defense |
| Play this free game now!! |
The White House says kill the vampires
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
I am not making this shit up! The White House clearly says we should kill vampires. If you doubt my sanity you can take a read yourself at www.whitehouse.gov. Yes this is the real government site. It is a short article Timmy so your head will not explode.
These are some of my favorite parts:
“Vampires can be found in almost every household…” We are screwed! Not only is gas putting a choke hold on your fun but we have vampires in every home! I thought they just lived is castles?
“Vampires make sure that the appliance is “instantly” functioning when you want to use it;…” Well at least they are earning their keep. I would be pissed if they were just using me and offering nothing in return!
“Vampire slayers often cost as little as 50 cents…” Well no shit! How much can a wooden stake cost anyway?
“The President will challenge American businesses, both in their manufacturing decisions and in their purchasing decisions, to look to the vampire slayer…” I have got to get with Buffy and get some job training. This could be a whole new field like “computer technician” from DeVry.
Finally instant Netflix to my TV
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
I am pretty damn pumped right now. I get excited when Apple comes out with new products that will suck the life out of my wallet and leave it a dry husk, but rarely do I get as excited as I am today about Apple or anything else. I feel like a kid hopped up on sugar with a crappy nights sleep on Christmas morning! I love Netflix and it has now become even better.
I have fiddled with wires and cables and all manner of shit in an attempt to get my Netflix “Instant Watch” movies to my TV. I want to sit on the couch not on my desk chair to watch a flick. Netflix does not offer the Instant watch on a Mac so I even have to break down and touch the the PC in the house! Don’t worry I always wash my hands afterwards. Everything I have tried is awkward and clunky at best. One person navigating the mouse while another looks at the TV and gives directions before they yell click now, click now seems to have been the best we could do without another investment in a wireless mouse/keyboard or new video cards.
Well my wishes have been granted!! Well not the one where I roll around in a money vault like Scrooge McDuck… or the one where Hugh hands me the keys to the mansion and a handful of playmates… or the one where I become a famous artist that is all the rage on the internet… or even the one where my Amish house burns to the ground and the insurance company eases my pain with a ridiculously large check… So really just one wish has been granted, and it is a tiny one. I am still super exctited!!
Roku has just come out with a box that works with Netflix to allow me viewing freedom! It is a tiny little $100 box that plugs into a TV and lets you scroll through your Instant Netflix queue and select what I want to watch all from the comfort of my couch. I pay no extra Netflix fees… I pay no service fees… nothing extra what so ever. I just fork over $100 from my piggy bank and I am feeling good. I can use the wireless network in my house so I do not even have to run a wire from the router to this little box of love. If that proves to slow I will just run a network wire over. It goes both ways.
I think I am ordering one this week. If you want to get your own little Netflix fun box take a look at it here.
I like Apple a lot but they can take their Apple TV and stick it. It is over twice as expensive, half as useful and I don’t think they have 10,000 movies for me to watch without any extra fees.
R.I.P. wienieroaster.com
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
One of my URLs wienieroaster.com is up for renewal. It is time to cut it free and let it go bye bye. I have too many other projects going on to keep this one going. I made a site to sell some rather fun hot dog roasting sticks my uncle makes in his machine shop. I have never invested any marketing into the site or taken the time to really make a go of it so it is time to just let it die.
I feel a little bad. This is a decent site and I can even make a few bucks if I were able to spend a little time with it. I needs a new shopping cart but I love the logo and colors. I just need to invest my resources, both time and money, into other projects.
weep weep sob sob… good bye little URL… good bye
Gummibär - Like audio crack
Thursday, May 15th, 2008I was listening to some techno crap with the Crazy Frog last night. I don’t know why but this audio mush just draws me in like a moth to a flame. Crazy Frog had a version of a Gummy Bear song that I found overly appealing. Having time on my hands and not much sense I looked into it and found out the original was done by Gummibär. I liked the original more than the Crazy frog remake so I of course had to download it. Yes I illegally used LimeWire. Well this new song crawled into my head took a large shit and made a nest! Soon I was in a cold sweat and needed more. I went to ITunes and bought Gummibär’s whole album. Now the iPod is hot running Gummibär nonstop while I kindly plea to the battery gods to give me 30 more seconds. My soul slowly fades away while my ears bleed me out like a holiday hog.
So it turns out Crazy Frog is my pot habit that lead me to the harder drug Gummibär! Damn! I guess it could be worse, I could have become hooked on The New Kids of the Blocks new album!! WTF… the world does not need this but that is a whole other post. One more slash! Have they not noticed… they are not “kids” anymore.
So allow me to be your dealer for the day. I bring you Gummibär.
I feel smarter
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008This is an animation on how DNA and cells are created. It is pretty cool and really allows you to understand the process a whole lot better than those piss poor drawings and models used in science classes I took. You know the ones taught by a guy with a huge butterfly collar and brown polyester slacks.
I highly recommend you give it a spin (even though that phrase has no meaning in this case) if you have even the slightest interest in science and/or the mechanics of life.
And it eats Swedes!!
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
This cow is freaking giant! Six feet six inches tall. That is a big ass bovine Timmy. They claim it is a gentle giant but then go on to say… “Despite his grand stature, Chilli only grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat“. They must not have much regard for the Swedes?
The Machine Girl looks terrible
Monday, May 12th, 2008I was poking around Netflix and this little gem called “The Machine Girl” popped up. It is one of those movies that looks so completely horrible you might just have to watch it so you can once again appreciate Hollywood. You decide if it is so horrible you have to watch it or juts plain horrible.
It has English subtitles so that should make it extra painful. I think if you turn the sound off and slam a 12 pack before you watch it it might just turn out to be a good flick.
Turn a chicken into a dinosaur
Friday, May 9th, 2008
I was reading something online about keeping the bones from your chicken dinner and then putting them together for a neato learning experience. Well it turns out there are actual books on this! There are books that tell you how to use chicken bones and make them look like mini dinosaurs! How damn cool it that! This is what parents should be doing with kids.
First off the you have to have a whole chicken so Timmy will quickly learn that food comes from dead animals. This is always a good lesson in my book. Then you have to clean the bones. A “patience is a virtue” type lesson for Timmy. The damn XBox won’t do this for you. Then you need to work with Drano or some similar caustic chemicals. It is always good to learn what to drink and what not to drink at a young age. If it cleans bones you should not drink it. This is a hard lesson to argue against. Finally there is the whole arts and craft part where you get to put the whole thing together.
So this Saturday… kill a chicken, save the bones like Hannibal Lector (or a mass murderer of your choosing) and have some family fun!!
Books: How to make a TRex and Make your own dinosaur.
More sources.