B Rad of the W

This holiday season why not invite Twisted Sister over for some holiday cheer? Sure they are like a million years old and look like poorly designed lumpy leather hand bags but at least they are still rocking and sticking to their roots by wearing way too much makeup.

Apparently Twisted Sister will turn your Christmas sweater wearing, four eyed, dweeb of a husband or your bitchy, prude, ice queen of a wife into a smoking hot volcano of sex!! Who knew? The first minute and a half of this video is just lame setup and rather painful. If you can make it through that the rest is moderately entertaining. I can not really recommend the whole album (Twisted Christmas) the below video is from. Most of it appears to be horribly mind numbing at best. However the song below is not bad, “Silver Bells” seems OK, “Let it Snow” would be OK if you were totally wasted, and “Deck the Halls” would be fun to Christmas carol with. The rest is pretty much diarrhea.

So if you have a hard time getting Twisted Sister over to thaw your wife or unbutton your hubby maybe just get the album for some family member you really don’t care for. Then you can borrow the CD and get the few good songs off it for yourself and just pray your spouse drinks enough eggnog to get sick and go to bed so you can have fun!!

Check out other gifts ideas from the blog.

Well if you are spending time with the family this holiday season you can sure appreciate the benefits of liquor! Aunt Freda sure is more tolerable if you are fighting consciousness induced from too much holiday cheer. The house is full, your tummy is over full, the air is thin and you can hardly move from one side of the room to the other without slipping on wrapping paper or a small child’s head!

Well this year be sure to get the most important person on your list (YOU) a wonderful and most useful gift. Below you will see a video of the Beer Launcher. With this baby you can keep your beer ice cold and in hand in mere seconds with the push of a button. Better yet you can pitch 12 ounces of cold hard beer at aunt Freda’s head if your timing and luck prove true. Mechanical things fail or malfunction from time to time and is sure would not be your fault if the Beer Launcher suddenly pitched a beer at an unfortunate moment. Just keep the snickers to a minimum as aunt Freda scrapes herself off the floor or your cover will be blown.

Basically the Beer Launcher is a great device that reaches into an ice cold mini fridge, grabs a nice cold beer and launches it across the room into your waiting hand. All this magic takes place with a remote and the push of a button. Here is John Cornwell’s  web page on the launching beer fridge. It is not a real great site but it has some pictures.

Check out other gifts ideas from the blog.

I love games! Not the crappy games based off TV shows like “Survivor” or “Wheel of Fortune” but the classics and a few really good new games. I have dabbled in D&D, Car Wars, and a few other types in that category. I don’t much care for them. I like games that are easy to get “normal” people involved in. Even the Pictionary and group games like that are silly to me. So unless everyone at Christmas is a WoW playing pimple faced uber dork stick with games that appeal to the masses.

So I have excluded a lot already but I guess you can not like everything. Here is a list of great games I like and play regularly: “Pass the Pigs“, “Scrabble” on occasion, “Fill or Bust“, “Monopoly” of course, Chess, Checkers, “Jenga“, “Stratego“, Dominoes, “Skip-Bo“, “Yahtzee“, “Phase 10“, “Uno“, “Sorry“, “Aggravation“, “Battle Ship“, “Sequence“, and a some poker games like Texas Hold’Em so you will need a good chip set

But this Christmas how about a new game! Try Killer Bunnies. I have found the best place to buy this great game is Ebay. After I bought it it took me two months before I actually played the game. The instructions seemed hard and it was not the type of game I normally play. Nor was it the type of game “normal” people play. I think they describe their product better than I could so I am going to just steal from their site. I am sure they won’t mind as I am promoting their great game.

Killer Bunnies & the Quest for the Magic Carrot is a fast paced, action filled card game, in which you must try to keep as many Bunnies alive as possible, while eliminating your opponents’ Bunnies. The problem: Your opponents are armed with weapons and will stop at nothing to keep you from winning the game, which can get dreadfully vengeful, horribly nasty, hilariously messy, and just plain fun!

I have played Killer Bunnies with a bunch of different people over the past few months and most have really enjoyed the game and wanted to play again. It is a confusing game if you hate reading rules. It is a hard game to get started on. Once you have read the rules and have a grasp of the game however it is a lot of fun. When I say hard I don’t mean painfully so, I just mean you will need to read all the rules and be able to understand the English language. Mindless, pointless silly fun is what the game is all about. The best part is you never know who is going to win the game. Every strategy is as good as the next if you can even have a strategy in this game. In Monopoly you always know who is going to win 15 or 20 into the game. Once you have a little power it just keeps getting stronger. In Killer Bunnies the winner is the one who has the one random winning card (1 of 20). The whole point of the game is to have fun and be stupid, things I do well! There are nine expansion decks you can add to the game and all are fun and worth while.

The only problem I have is with the cards. The actual game cards are a little thick and not real ideal. I would like to see them make the cards out of a material more like actual playing cards, thin and crisp. The Killer Bunny cards tend to split if mistreated, like cheap baseball cards. I would also strongly recommend getting a card shuffler if you buy any expansion decks. Otherwise you have a LOT of cards to handle. I bought this one. It is a cheap peice of plastic junk that works most of the time. I am not sure a better shuffler would handle the thick cards better, and who wants to spend more that $15 on a card shuffler anyway.

Get the game and check is out if you like group games and fun!

Check out other gifts ideas from the blog.

So you say you have one of those “freaks” on your Christmas list huh. You know, more than one earring in an ear, nose ring, nipple piercings, breast implants, lip spikes and of course those big hollow tubes people stick in their ears till they are the size of dinner plates. Well the best part about body modification is the disturbed bastards that are tearing up their body are addicted! Body modification is like coffee, well except from Satan; very addictive. Nothing stops a body modification freak; not infection, pain, HIV nor a rainy day. Addictions are great to take advantage of in the holiday season. No one ever returns a gift and the receiver can never have enough.

For these “special” folks you could go to the hardware store and get some bolts or lawn mower blades. Then get all lit up and help them drill and hammer the metal into their body until they set off every metal detector in the county. That is of course if you have the stomach for it. Otherwise, might I suggest going into the dirty part of town (probably some bikes parked out front) and getting a gift certificate for body modification. This way you don’t have to help poke metal and silicone into the persons body. Just be sure not to touch anything while filling out the form for the gift card Timmy!

In no time at all with your yearly gifts the body modification freak on your list can soon look like the dude in this video. Complete with head pointies, blurry skin ink, Klingon forehead nubs gone bad, and of course arm tits.

Check out other gifts ideas from the blog.

We all know a geek or two. Hell some of us just need look in the mirror, right Timmy. Geeks can be hard to buy for. If you get them yesterdays hot item or something from two weeks ago you are so “out of touch”. The new video game… they already got it. The new Batman DVD… already downloading from their bit torrent.

Good luck with these dorks. You could always go with a case of Mt. Dew or Cheetos but that shows no creativity what-so-ever. I have the gift for them, from you! I bring you the Wi-Fi detector shirt and for only $29.99! Now your little pale faced, flat fingered, near sighted friend and/or loved one can respect you and admire your thoughtfulness.

Perhaps your geek friend never leaves the house and you have never seen him dressed in more than dirty underwear and a white Cheetos stained shirt. No point dressing up with real clothes or actually leaving the house when Grandma’s basement is always so warm, and can you can’t beat the rent! Well for your sheltered geek that never leaves the hum of the Wi-Fi I give you the eight bit tie. At least now they can appear civilized while they pop zits.

Check out other gifts ideas from the blog.

So you need to get a gift for little Timmy this year but the little creep already has every toy known to man. Well how about giving him a project gift that will keep him busy for a good five minutes. I bring you the beer can robot. The best part is it is cheap so you have more money for holiday cheer (beer).

The added benefit is you now have a reason to throw all your empty Blatz cans at the annoying little brat this holiday season. By the way Blatz is the king of beers. How could it not be a great beer with a name that sounds like you need a cream to cure it. “Man I got Blatz all over my back but the doctor said this cream will cure it and only leave minimal scaring.” Never tried Blatz? I double dog dare you. If you live in a trailer and like soiling your pants this is the beer for you. Ever heard the term “loose as a goose”?

“No I was not tossing garbage at your precious son Timmy. He needed that beer can to finish his robot. Come on, I did not know is was a full can. I never would have tossed it at his head so hard if I had know it was full! Honest… *snicker*. That swelling and black eye will hardly be noticeable by the time he goes back to school.”

Past gift post review:
Flatulina Christmas album - Holiday tunes with fart noises!
The semen cook book - The cookbook for the adventurous cook.

I am filled right to the brim with holiday love. We all have those people (twitchy losers) that have everything, or that are not worth our hard earned green backs. While naming some lame star after them, making them a rich batch of Exlax holiday cookies, or a boot to the head is fun and probably what they deserve (greedy bastards) I may have a few better ideas for you.

Faltulina is sure to get you into the Christmas spirit! From her web site: “Celebrate with the effervescent sound of flatulence and singing fish.” Imagine driving across the state with this blasting from car speakers to get the whole posy into the holiday mood. Timmy will love listening to it as he holds and protects that ice cold pie for hours on end! Surely once you arrive at Grandma’s she will want to listen to this holiday delight.

Keep checking back for more great holiday gift ideas. I am bound and determined to find the gift you will delight in to presenting to some grubby handed “give me, give me”.

Don’t forget my earlier post in which I presented the Semen Cookbook.